i'm just going to come out and say it, tanning people freak me out. i find myself prejudiced against them at best. at worst i am simply repulsed. and i realize that now i must clarify, and that's fine, it is very necessary.

people who are orange because their self-tanning solution is made of carrots deserve no discussion, they have enough shame i think.

people who tan their entire bodies, are freaks. that's all there is to it. while i do not see their entire body, it is pretty clear exactly who these people are. perhaps it's just me, but if you take off your underwear and you are the same leathery color all over, go ahead and book your cancer treatment and/or plastic surgery. you know, beat the rush.

people who tan the same amount of time, but wear something for the sake of tanlines, why? you're still ruining your skin, now you're just a mottled freak with lines and triangles of passable flesh. [i assume. then again, they may be orange.] in any case, keep up the good work.

and in both cases, the heavy creases formed in your ever darkening hide make you look old in the 'used car' sense, not the 'i am old enough to be here' one.

people who tan to the point it isn't noticeable whether or not it was purposefully done in a booth/beach in blazing cosmic rays of one form or another for hours on end, you're fine. and by 'fine' i simply mean you've avoided my judging eye for now.

i am not trying to say i only like pale people, or that i am secretly racist against people with any color in their skin, i'm not, i think it's a good thing that people are how they are. what i am saying is that people around the world are ruining their skin to be paler [which i find odd but not the point], while here we are dying because we cannot be bothered to avoid cancer because apparently tanned ovaries are sexy.

also skin is nicer to touch than leather. bleh.

speaking of people, while purchasing orange juice just now i saw three young men standing [talking to an old lady talking about "fandom" and she said something about "..just keep updating the website.."] in the grocery store with tails sticking out of the back of their pants. as in, the thing at the end of a dog or a cat. except in this case they appeared to be like those on a fox and a raccoon and i didn't see the third because as you might have guessed, i did not stick around to hang out. [pun not intended. nor deleted.] oh, and i don't know what those tails were tucked into, but whatever was keeping them in place must have serious odor.

and one of my neighbors was wearing white pants. this being the day after memorial day, i found it oddly satisfactory.


"the scent of your skin and some foreign flowers" -t.s.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

tied to a brick