i had an idea regarding why there are downtimes when there shouldn't be. that everytime you get attached to something. i don't mean things you like or enjoy just a bit. but when you really thoroughly enjoy a place or an event or person or music that you connect a piece of yourself with it. and unless you are very careful, you can leave that piece behind. happens enough, you've got holes and gaps and bits missing. feelings seep out, you are no longer completely yourself anymore, what's left is allowed to cycle, like everything else.

an idea for a solution to the idea is to continue allowing myself to really like things, to really enjoy things, to love people, to love someone, but to try and only connect to the most important. the rest isn't important. orange gatorade, little caesar's, china taste, art museums, car stickers, comfortable shoes, are all good things. but they are essentially pointless. a few people and a few things really matter and they are the things that should be paid attention to. just have to try harder to focus on what matters.


"well do better next time
this is a pretty good beginning" -s.r.


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