another night, another movie to give me some creepy guilty feeling. i swear i haven't killed anyone. ever. no really. i really don't get it, and i really don't like it, and i really wish it would go away.

how i came about watching it this morning was something like this. i was tired fairly early last night [9p-ish or so], so i headed to bed shortly thereafter with the intention of sleeping the night away, so goes the wild life you see? i fell asleep some time after ten and assume all was well. except i woke up. after trying to get my stupid head back to resembling comatose for something like half an hour, and looking at my clock to see it was almost four in the morning, i figured i'd just get up, none the healthier, wealthier, nor wiser, if you catch my drift. [except, so far as i figure, it was something around one in the morning as my alarm clock is currently approaching five days ahead. it runs very fast as it has picked up those five days in the past week. i just don't have the heart to unplug it. but yesterday it was running with normal time for at least a few hours, so i assumed when i woke it was still only ten minutes ahead. instead it was about three hours.. (and actually four days and three hours) ] so i go watch this movie and come to find out after having watched the film, that i should have turned off many times before the end, that seemed based on a horrible work of fiction [which i must interject about, fiction, i think i like two or three novels, total. most are just a complete waste of time. and every time i give them a chance, they disappoint. i could write a better plot, and, as is obvious, i cannot write. sure it may read like the ingredients on a tin of salt: salt, iodine., but that's because i know my limits. [this reminds me of this book on tape i was tortured with on a long drive. apparently the feminist author felt reversing roles was not enough, she decided a complete lack of reality was in order. the main character was a woman. [obviously no problem there. obviously.] she's a medical doctor. [nothing wrong with that.] she's also a scholar of classic literature. [okay, maybe that was her undergrad work.] she knows more about explosives than the entire bomb squad. [former terrorist turned reformed citizen perhaps?] she is a marksman with many different types of firearms as well as a bow and arrow. [advanced girl scout training?] einstein-ish mathematician and college professor in some other field. [superb time management, no?] social life of gatsby without the messy deaths.. [er, boarding school?] apparently an excellent lover and bartender [even superhuman genius women have vices i guess.] and from what i can remember, able to pull at least two large, heavily uniformed men from dangerous building situations. [she makes time for the gym.] so maybe i'm not the feminist i think i am, and maybe i just don't appreciate fiction, but if you are feeling the need to seriously defend such garish, fake blathering, please do. i honestly beg you, as i've not laughed since i woke up.] [and if not obvious, were the character a man, i'd've felt exactly the same. however, had it been a chimp, i would have been interested, and that's not sarcasm. and neither is that.] or, like this movie, the attempt of so many authors to take a soap opera and fancy it up so it lasts the 230 pages their editors requested..

um excuse that. before i went to bed i ate. before i ate i came home with the food. and before that i left class, where i fear i didn't do well on a rather sizable exam, but that's neither here nor there, i left class and i went to my favorite chinese place to apparently reward myself for probably doing horribly on an exam with a tasty dinner. that will teach me. i noticed i was low on petrol something fierce and as i ordered the only thing that takes some time to prepare, i scurried myself to a station and threw in a few notes-worth. i returned to see an ex [of sorts] pulling up. one that doesn't live very close to said eatery, and the only one of my few ex's who i'd be fine with not running into. the others live out of town though, so that's an empty hope. anyway, she was with someone and apparently didn't want to be bothered with saying hello, and though i felt odd just walking out when my food was ready, i honestly have no reason to start even idle greetings. may sound cold, but there are actual reasons. in any case, it seriously had better not turn into an often occurrence. a mate and i have often wondered how it can be that we never meet, or even see, nice people at this place, being the den of all things both very tasty as well as chinese that it is. so much for wondering.

i saw a woman at that very petrol station talking with two guys, exiting the same time as them, get into her car, they got into theirs and drove away, she sat in her car in the lot brushing her teeth, rinsing with bottled water, and then leaving. i've a few ideas, but they're horrible or unlikely. anyone else?

finally, i enjoyed watching the women's olympic curling finals last evening. and for some reason i feel the strange need to defend sports. mind you i think most "aren't interesting" at best, but since i like a few, i can't deem the others as less worthy of someone liking them. and i often find people discuss them as barbaric or only appreciated by people with lower standards for entertainment. but i see no reason why they are deemed any less reasonable than music, [especially with all the horrible wretched *#&%! that is out there. and yes that is beetle baily foul language, pardon me.] or film, or theatre, or art, or whatever else. it's all talent. i don't like it all either, but that really doesn't mean anything. and for those who can't enjoy watching swiss and scottish women sliding forty-two pound stones precisely down ninety-three feet of ice, i tritely say, your loss.


can't anybody see?,
we've got a war to fight,
we'll never found our way,
of what they say." -p.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

from this moment, how can it feel.. this wrong?