i can't see straight, i'm so tired. typos ahoy! for some reason i feel compelled to commit this tortured metaphor to words.

i've seen a particular episode of a show numerous times and it is about truck drivers; semis, lorries, that sort. and aside from the humor it makes the point that it is difficult and drivers in cars don't appreciate that and make their jobs more difficult and dangerous by cutting them off and whatnot.

i don't think i was particularly bad before but i go to some lengths now to make sure i'm not causing them to have to slow unnecessarily and thus lose momentum.

and i was talking with a good friend in his kitchen earlier and we talked briefly about how when one person in a relationship is done, it's over. and that got me thinking about how we often try to hold others back. either to maintain a relationship or to keep them from progressing, out of fear that they might progress away from you. here comes the payoff.

and so people are like the trucks, not because they are lumbering or slow, but because everyone has baggage. i appear to myself as a small, nimble car in this analogy because i (somewhat) know what i can pick up and put down and as far as i am concerned i can act however i see fit. but i don't know what everyone else is carrying around, what is actively on their mind or what is background noise, and i appear the same to them.

and so i need to treat others less abruptly. they may or may not be able to slow or accelerate or change direction at quite the same rate on a particular day. communicate intentions clearly. give people room. don't hold others up; do what i can to let them move forward.



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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

it's 2:45 in the morning