i just finished watching 'mansfield park', and, among many other bits, i noticed this part of a scene in particular. [and possibly i'll come off as quaint or na�ve or foolish because of it, but that's quite fine.] there is this five-second bit when he takes hold of her hand, and her breath catches for a moment. i want that. and no i don't want some nameless and mindless person, who happens to be female, to be there. i want my fanny price. of course, it's only the best of characters in novels (or, in this case, adaptations) or films that can cause such a reaction, so i'm kidding myself. but i still want that. or, for someone to make me unable to breathe, flustered, and for them to take notice. which, i guess, isn't to say something along those lines hasn't occurred already.

it's all about timing.

and it isn't that fairly impromptu picnics that end up in rainstorms with friends aren't pleasant, and it isn't that the wet green of everything isn't brilliant enough as is/was, because they are. and i find i think myself, often times, horrible for not appreciating enough as things are, while at the same time wondering how much better it might be were i not to be one, but part of a two. horrible. because grass cannot get much more green than it was today, and i still tried to imagine it so.

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