prosaic

remember that time i said "i think my car is dying. slowly mind you."? do you? well, those were the days. yes, four days ago up until last night were 'the days.' mind you, my car isn't dead, but it's definately in a coma. it was fine as of 7p last night when last i drove it. [yes, i was in last night, 'how paTHEtic', can we stick to the subject at hand?] this morning, no sound when key is turned. hopefully it's just the battery, but then my radio still plays and it still makes that annoying whining sound when my door is open. both quieter than normal though. if it's serious, i'm fucked. and here's why - class starts wednesday for me, and not only that, but a lot of classes at a lot of different buildings, and many of them back to back. so it's not like i can take one on the chin for the environment for a few weeks and bike/hoof-it, even if i wanted to. besides, i live a good distance from campus. and, this is a big 'and', both the temperature and humidity are quite high here lately. i'm currently accepting donations in the form of: new cars, money (cash or check, i'm flexible), or 'where-the-fuck-do-you-get-the-nerve-to-ask, even in jest,-for-donations?' cards. [oh, and could you overnight them please? i mean we're talking about this wednesday people.]

to top it off, i think my auto caught it from a friend's (well friend of a friend) diseased car. because mine was fine, then the suspect car was parked near it yesterday. twelve hours later mine is on life support. needless to say i'm just shy of ecstaticly happy. then again, what are you going to do, really? it is a twelve year old auto. it's the suddenness that has me baffled mainly. here's a saucy shot of her derri�re. flattering, no? [hey, HEY, catcalls to a minmum please. thanks.]

i've been remiss in my acknowledgment of other journal-ists. i'm not going to name names (or would it be, "i'm not going to url urls"? (bad, i know)), you know who you are, but i would like to say thanks. perhaps you've wised up and stopped reading this long ago, but in case your a glutton for my 'chinese water torture' writing, thanks. thanks for those who've linked to here *(i have a comment on this, imagine that), emailed me, or made references to me in their writing. i think that kind of stuff [and i'd replace 'stuff' here with 'mutual admiration', but that'd be far too arrogant and presumptuous on my part for me to feel fine by saying] keeps people moving from one site to the next, and thereby broadens the base of experiences and commentaries. idealistic? maybe. [corny? i plead the fifth.] * = my comment was that i hope the (perhaps four (lovely)) people that linked to me did so because they appreciated some bit of something i've said. i'll take 'pity-links', but i just hope no one feels obligated, or as though it's polite to do so because i link to them, or other.

sometimes i even amaze myself by the complete lack of continuity. i was going to purchase a 'continuity for dummies'(tm) book the other day, but it was right next to a package of arabian coffee beans, 'sounds of nature' cds, and a candy pager. [apparently the kool-aid(r) man is busier than i thought.] faced with such irony, and in keeping with my continuity issues, i didn't buy it.

only one person has ever asked me this. and it just makes me ecstatic, and anxious, and happy, and as nostalgic as a 20yr-old boy can be, when i think about when it was asked of me. we were very early on in what would become a relationship, and had seen each other for a weekend, but were seperated by school and distance (and longing i must add, at least on my part). and she - innocently, earnestly, sweetly, perhaps even lovingly for all i know - asked..

when can i see you again?

i need someone who feels strongly enough to ask that again.. at the same time i'm asking them the exact same thing.

"i waved my hope around like a cheap flag
whose colors had faded,
whose emblem was laughable.." -erin mckeown