i'm not quite sure why it is so disappointing when the picture in your head doesn't match reality. that doesn't seem to be evolutionarily useful. you think someone or something or some event will be a certain way and then it is another. fine. but it was never any other way, you just thought it was. and, given that, i could understand some level of confusion, maybe, but why is there any sort of emotional component attached.

maybe because, to quote a lyric, as much as the expectation is all in your head, so's everything else. and maybe because your head cannot differentiate between what you've put there and what your senses put there, it causes an issue when the two collide.

i don't know. but having reality appear to be congruent with presumption but actually be the opposite in nearly every practical way has been unsettling. and disappointing. and unfortunate. but. whatever.



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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

looking for.. a strand to climb