the other day i had a bit of a longing for a time, a person. things were said or remembered, you know how it goes. that got me thinking about memory and why we would have evolved to have memories that cause such soreness. why not, instead, evolve to learn but forget?

but maybe these are just a byproduct of how the mind works. the mind wants dopamine and other reward chemicals; and the mind is lazy and wants to use well-worn pathways because they are the shortest and/or the most heavily reinforced. paths seem far more difficult to deconstruct than to reinforce. and you've felt good down these pathways before, why not again? like a broken bridge on an abandoned road, it leads nowhere useful.

it's also no wonder it gets harder to feel that same spark with someone new, or to find deep connections again and again. the main paths are well-worn, and the easiest routes do not include someone new. that's my hypothesis; actual psycho/neurology be damned.



< << < : : >> > >
number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

but i didn't realize how much the impact would be