the other day i was thinking about writing something to the effect of, disliking someone is easy and it takes effort to like them. i don't remember the exact circumstances that set this thought alight in my head but it burned out.
thinking about something else just now, how an ex's birthday just passed, it seems i was only entirely wrong. that's it. on some level i care about all sorts of people i don't know. worry about them as i pass, etc. i'm not too worried about her. i don't hate her or wish her harm, but i don't worry that she's okay either. my point is that it seems you have to do something to write yourself off, or more accurately for me to write you off. that care is the default. maybe.