i am not an excitable person. by no means would i say that i have my emotions entirely under my control. but, for the most part, i let things roll off; good or bad. a couple of exes have made note. at least one friend has made multiple references that i don't seem to let things get to me.

but that characteristic, that ability, that habit[?]--whatever it is--regularly betrays me. there are times when i want to be excited about something or someone and i'm not. and i don't know whether it is my gut being psychic, my subconscious being protective, a knee-jerk unexcited reaction/habit, or if there's just nothing of interest at all.

and it wouldn't matter at that point anyway because nothing is interesting after that much figuring. which, incidentally, is why i only ever made it so far in math and languages. it was not interesting after a certain point.


p.s. - hi, japan. just know that while you read this i am jealous of the food you have eaten, are eating, and will eat.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

i told you about the walrus and me, man