what i could have said was that i went on a date tonight. and i thought it went well. which means it didn't. which probably sounds piteous but that's not the intent. i'm just rather backwards in my estimation of first dates.
i recall one and i thought she was bored and just being nice by going along after about halfway. i could still see her building when i was driving away and she had texted me to say what a good time she had. we saw each other for a year after that, so what do i know. it's probably good to put in the attempt. puts some substance behind missing human contact which has become more of an idea over time than a feeling. optimism is a chore.