i read these two stories from the atlantic recently about problems with online dating. the first one was more or less saying that the abundance of options has led people to putting in less effort. as soon as a bump happens, they bail knowing that there are dozens if not hundreds or thousands of people out there at any moment.

the second, in quasi-reply or addendum, was about how the ability to select details leads to stasis and boredom. that it is the differences between people in relationships that not only lead to growth but to satisfaction, both of which are key to long-term, and both come about because of the asymmetry of opinion or outlook.

having used sites before, and just generally being a nerd, these stories interested me. i can say that i haven't really fallen prey to the first's issues, though i know some who say that has crossed their mind, but there is something of me in the second's.

i've always wondered why i don't know anyone with very similar tastes in media, for instance. and while i don't make lists of what i want in people, if pressed i'd like them to have general world view of this rather than that, and like these sorts of things, etc. and i think that's fine to want but when you can dismiss people entirely via checkboxes it is edging towards problematic. if you met someone at a concert, the most you might know is that you like one particular artist in common and differences sprout from there.

be open-minded.



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