if cold water is instability and loneliness and regret and.. then how i've been feeling lately is the thin layer of ice on top. from a distance everything is placid. perfectly calm. dry. step wrong though, and i've got a short time to escape before i lose hours or an entire day trying to warm back up.

metaphorically and literally i have no one to turn the heat on for. so i don't.

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18.11.11
11.58p
number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

but it's not quite right