i think i appear as if there is nothing wrong. as bad as i feel and as bad as appearing fine makes me feel, i don't see the benefit in constantly expressing how i feel. to be fair, i'm so busy writing papers and reports that there are times when i don't notice either. though it's never far when everything is a reminder.

when my brother was younger either a couple of his friends had moved away or it was the time he got tendinitis, in either case, school was out and he spent a lot of time in bed. he started twirling the hair on the crown of his head and he actually caused some of it to fall out, enough that we noticed.

it's a fine line between writing this and shaving off my hair. it is tenuous grasp at times on keeping one foot in front of the other.

got to go to a great concert last night with a good friend and it was way better than i expected. she was supposed to come with, originally.

there was a couple standing next to me the whole time and about halfway through she got into the music and was dancing around, he tried to keep up. they seemed like they were alone; they were cute. endearing.

it's my favorite little venue and i wanted to share it with her. i think she would have dug everything about it, the night, the music, the way everything was.

i ended up giving away her ticket to a guy who i am sure sold it. i had no use for it. and she wasn't there; had no use for me.



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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

how come i'm so alone there