i had the worst day i've had in two weeks, and combine those two together and this is my low point.

i feel like someone close to me has died. it's life-altering, sudden, and something i have no input in anymore. that's not why it feels this way, but there are those similarities.

my insides are mush. i have difficulty focusing, sleeping, eating, being at home, being alone, being out, being with friends.

i don't want to wake up tomorrow. i want to go to sleep tonight. and i don't want to wake up.

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