i understand the rationale behind first date behavior, as who wants to spend more time with someone who is not all that nice? but it seems to me to be a disservice. it just takes that much longer to really get to know someone, not that rushing it is a good thing. i guess i just mean that so many walls are up as is, why put up more.

of course there is the idea that little things that would be seen as character flaws in most people might � if kept in check until the relationship has developed to some extent � become more like endearing quirks in that significant other. maybe that's the point.

there is something to be said about pointed honesty. though i understand why it might do as much harm as good.

also, i do not understand the idea of a meal or a movie being a first date, unless the awkwardness and tension need to be ratcheted up for some reason. i am not sure how eating in front of strangers with whom you presumably want to leave a good impression was ever a good idea. maybe i am just weird. the choosing of the establishment, individual tastes, ordering, eating, and paying. all hazards.

and movies don't work. even museums are better for established relationships, so i have found. it is not surprising that most people don't have second dates or skip the dates altogether to hookup for a night and leave it at that. politics.

even if it were not entirely obvious, i could tell that i am a monogamist as the dating scene does not interest me, and a post-relationship relationship is well above my head.

you might think that given all this that i had recently been on a first date, but no. i cannot remember the last first date i went on. except that is a lie. it is easier to say that than it has been a long time.

-