i don't feel exactly as i did. it got worse. and then it was different. i wouldn't call it better. and i guess it isn't worse, exactly.

the sharp edge is dulling, and i can feel myself detaching from the world. maybe i won't be as down, but i won't be as up either. i hate this pseudocalm. i can feel it coming but i'm not sure how to avoid it. at least it hasn't dulled my ability to be frustrated.

a few days ago i was going to comment about how i understand reasons why drugs might be severely tempting, but i've said that before. so i didn't. but really i was just lazy.



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