i think too often we are searching for perfection. or.. at least for something better. i know that i am guilty of that very thing. not that i was actively searching, but that i was shirking my responsibility. [that makes it sound like i thought it was a chore, and that's not the case.]

the problem with me is, i can be nice and attentive for a while. maybe even months. invariably i lose focus and let things slide. things like making sure that the relationship is going well. making sure the cute girl, who is doing me a favor by spending time with me, knows how i feel. being as good of a partner in reality as i think i should be.

i feel empty and malnourished lately all because i did not do enough. i too often let her assume how i felt instead of telling her directly. how big of an ass can i possibly be? clearly quite big. i am working on being much less of one. everyone will benefit. and i hope, especially, her.


"you never know how things are going to work out. sometimes men and women get hung up on each others sharp edges. but sometimes they get hung up on each other." * -w.r.

* = i am hoping for the latter.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

you make me want to be a better person..