i think too often we are searching for perfection. or.. at least for something better. i know that i am guilty of that very thing. not that i was actively searching, but that i was shirking my responsibility. [that makes it sound like i thought it was a chore, and that's not the case.]

the problem with me is, i can be nice and attentive for a while. maybe even months. invariably i lose focus and let things slide. things like making sure that the relationship is going well. making sure the cute girl, who is doing me a favor by spending time with me, knows how i feel. being as good of a partner in reality as i think i should be.

i feel empty and malnourished lately all because i did not do enough. i too often let her assume how i felt instead of telling her directly. how big of an ass can i possibly be? clearly quite big. i am working on being much less of one. everyone will benefit. and i hope, especially, her.


"you never know how things are going to work out. sometimes men and women get hung up on each other�s sharp edges. but sometimes they get hung up on each other." * -w.r.

* = i am hoping for the latter.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

you make me want to be a better person..