what if all that really matters is each other. sort of makes that longing for that connection more urgent. i think that is the bulk of what it is to be alive.

not that we are social creatures or that this is what i think makes us human. i just mean that our lives are spent mostly on ourselves. 8hrs +/- for sleep, 3hrs or so on food, and another considerable amount to make money to pay for that sleep and that food. it seems that it should be abnormal instead of how things are. society - the totality of social relationships among humans - is removing many of those social relationships that are part of its existence.

granted, these are our choices and we could all be bums, or hippies, or take lower paying jobs and live like students all of our lives. but that doesn't seem viable either.

and i know i've let connections dwindle and fade all because i thought either i didn't need it, or it would be okay without me for a while, or because i simply wasn't paying enough attention to see how weak it had become.

and i've got more regrets now than yesterday. and more yesterday than the week before. i don't live in the past, i just wish i could apologize. something tells me that it is possible for one to be forgiven, but i am worried that one can never apologize.

hmm. well..

i'm still sorry, even if it is impossible for it to mean anything.


"these are the important things in life. these are the things that matter, that help you on your way.." -l.


< << < : : >> > >
number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

well what then. .. what then? .. .