a short while ago i was stopped on my way out of a store by a lady with a long, crazy, probably madeup and certainly notmybusiness story. as you can surely guess, she wanted money. now i came out of the store with twelve dollars and some change and i could tell that she was not interested in change by the level of insanity her story had reached.

so i gave her the two dollars and figured i'd either get a 'thanks' or at least a clear path to freedom. what i got instead was a first in the realm of strangers asking me for something.

she said, "can i have the ten?"

now i wanted to say something like a cross between flicking her off and laughing at her request, but instead said no about ten times as she asked for it repeatedly.

let this be a lesson to you all. if your husband leaves you and takes your car, your kids, and your four-thousand dollars, don't decide to go to a hotel as you cannot afford it. you freak.


"if you're gonna say shit now,
you do it out loud" -e.s.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

and i'm putting myself on warning