do not swallow your gum, usually followed by, because it will stick to your ribs/insides for seven years, is the worst saying or superstition or piece of advice that anyone has ever come up with. it serves no purpose. none. avoiding black cats does not though, so what exactly is my problem?

my problem, besides your apparent attitude, is that it is not only stupid and useless, it is leading to disgusting and angering incidents all the time.

1. it sticks to peoples shoes from being spat out in parking lots and upon sidewalks and is nearly impossible to get off without having to touch someone elses spit soaked gum, caked in who knows what else.

2. it is either a rock hard disgusting concretion under chairs and desks and tables and any surface with a slightly downward facing angle. that, or it is still wet and able to destroy any article of clothing it comes in contact with.

3. after hardening, it can never be cleaned completely. many times even when not hardened.

4. it doesn't stay inside you any longer than any other fiber or solids you don't digest.

5. it doesn't stick to anything inside you, if it did, you'd lose the ability to digest. and if you think it can somehow magically get to your ribs, LIKE MY EIGHTH GRADE SCIENCE TEACHER DECLARED*, just end it. now. before you procreate.

6. please.

7. either change the superstition to swallow gum, dispose of it properly, or quit telling people not to swallow it. freaks.

don't walk under ladders. that makes sense. sure the claim is about having bad luck, but the idea is good regardless. i need more productive sayings like that so that things like -do not leave your wallet on top of your car for any reason you bloody stupid hillbilly- will get stuck in my head and i'll remember.


"there's a hole in the hall,
where i punched at the wall
when i found out there was some.." -r.7

*may have mentioned that before, though i can't find it.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

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