i've mentioned it before, but i really have no idea what the world looks like for everyone else. and it rarely even crosses my mind that other people are experiencing different lives. their own. not because i think everyone is like me, but that i usually can't process my life, let alone fathom other people's experiences. or even more importantly, how they process them.

i rarely think about it, but when i do, it is exciting to me. i wonder what they are doing, where they are walking, what they are seeing or saying. where they are in the world, in the city, in relation to me.

i'm not outgoing, and to be honest, i don't think i'd get along with most people, but i like hearing stories and about events in people's lives, just listen to people in general. i want to ask every old man i pass about world war ii, or how much food used to cost or under what circumstances he grew up.

i like hearing stories of friends, but i like it so much that i often don't reply and they feel they are the only ones talking and that i don't care or am bored, when i'm engrossed.

sometimes when people explain stuff to me, the hair on my head and neck sort of tingles, it always has, i can remember being 6years-old and the exact same thing happening. whenever it does i try to prolong the explanation so it doesn't go away.

i could listen all day if i was allowed. but the problem is, people usually want conversation. sometimes they just want an ear, but most of the time it is the back and forth they are after. and i can appreciate that, and i try, but i'm not as good at the one as the other.

i'm so interested in others' lives, that when i'm driving past a house and i see a television on through the blinds or curtains, it piques my interest, because i know there are people there.

also, i have no idea what people are thinking. are they enjoying the current conversation, do they like this other person, what are their motives.

pretty much, i'm a social retard. but i'm fine with it.


"this place is a prison..
and these people aren't your friends
inhaling thrills through $20 bills..and the tumblers are drained and then flooded again and again" -t.p.s.


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