perhaps i find it disgusting that people would trample a woman to get to a nearby deal because i already have a dvd player and am not in need of one. or maybe because i am a human. lately i cannot tell.

it is one thing to knock someone over so that you can satisfy your own greed. repulsive and the opposite of laughable. but it is an entirely different level to then not help her up, trample her to the point of unconciousness, and not let paramedics through to take her to the hospital for what you did to her.

someone remarked to me earlier how she had seen a woman drop something in a store and people headed to the woman's aid, until they saw she was rather unattractive.

..also that people are shocked when given aid. i, too, have found that to be true. while i do think it is best for someone receiving help to be grateful or at least nice, astonishment shouldn't be the norm. i don't even live in a big [160,000ish] or crime-ridden city where people have better reason to be so wary.

i've never lived, or even visited, outside the states, so i may be way off. but it seems these attitudes find their foothold in consumerist capitalist nations. governments want everything for themself with no responsibility. businesses are obviously of the same mindset. so why shouldn't the individual be?

i don't think i want to spend my life with these people, in this place.

i'd rather go to mars i think.

i'm not depressed or disallusioned or even cynical because of it, but it's too hard to trust people. i'm na�ve to think people are generally good, and honest. but the alternative is to assume everyone will trample me anytime i'm between them and and a slashed-price.

it seems that, with few exceptions, whenever i give someone the benefit of the doubt, they prove me wrong. i guess it's good that i am a slow learner.

i know it is a lot to ask, but i'd really like it if we could all wear signs telling people whether we are nice or mean. at least then i wouldn't be surprised.


"i could the time
there was no way of knowing" -b.h.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

you know there's nothing