so i officially hate traveling. no, that's not true. i hate traveling with my family. as funny as my brothers and sisters are, and as much as i enjoy spending time with them, traveling to do so really sours the deal. traveling alone is okay. to home isn't bad, and it is nice when you get back and can relax. to someone on the other end of your plane or car [or train i presume] is always fun. and i assume traveling with someone would just be fantastic as you can rest on each other or catch a bite at connecting airports that you scheduled layovers at, and generally just hang out. families aren't so good for this.

why i mention it is because i went to my brother's wedding this past weekend. a lot of small revelations came about, none of which i'll bore you with. i will instead bore you with other stuff.

for example, you can always find rednecks. [see: hicks, people with mullets, etc.]. and more often than not, it takes no effort on your part. i thought they were easier to escape. i was wrong.

the lady who randomly selected me for screening, decided that the best course of action at butt-early o'clock, was to insult me, while she rummaged through my personal effects. previously i've been assumed to be fifteen. this gem of an individual happily informed me she thought i could very easily have been twelve. am i dick clark? how am i getting younger? anyway, hint to terrorists, look twelve. i had a construction razor blade in my wallet [i just carry it in case i need to cut things. you know, movie times in a newspaper, ceiling tiles, heroin shipments.] i realized long before i got to the airport that they might want it, which is okay as i have more than a few in my car. they didn't care apparently. so much for safety. take away my fingernail clippers and nail files, i'll keep my razor blade. nice.

if you are wondering what george bush is up to, perhaps thinking he is finally coming around to actual sensible decisions, you've been duped. i don't think i'm the only one who has figured this out, not in the least. i'm just worried that a lot of people are going to be lulled into his little plan. see, this is it. he came out so crazily for war, which is what he really wants, that he turned off some of his supporters. then he seals the deal by turning back [seemingly] now. he actually hasn't done anything but the old fakeout. now he is saying that as long as saddam does everything exactly as bush says, then there will be no war. one of two things will happen. saddam will do some stuff, but not per the instructions, and bush will then go ahead with the war he wants because, he did give fair warning. and maybe even worse, if saddam does everything right, bush declares himself personally responsible for averting war, and nobel peace prize incarnate. his ratings go so high he gets elected over and over, a l� fdr. [haha, fbr, he right.]

why do people hate stereotypes so much? there is nothing wrong with them, as they are based on numbers, like statistics. like men have a greater incidence of heart attack or women are at greater risk for breast cancer. wrong ones are dumb, racist sexist or otherwise hate/fear based ones are pointless. but a large portion of them are valid. i don't like a lot of onions in my food. so when i see a dish with a lot in it headed my way, i remain wary and at the very least don't take too much in case i don't like it. if i am walking late at night and see a large african man coming one way and a small indian woman coming the other, i would probably take the latter. not because i hate or fear african americans, or think indians are pushovers. nor because i discount women while thinking all men are brutes. men are more often violent, criminals, and likely to have a weapon [used for aggressive purposes] than women.

i'm not talking about coming home, throwing my fedora on the hat rack, leaning back in my chair while reading the paper, putting my feet up and yelling when's dinner going to be ready? if i did, and then didn't swiftly receive punishment in the facial or crotch-ial-lary area, i would run to the garage. as surely doc would be there trying to figure a way to get the flux capacitor in my delorean to work without plutonium so that i can get out of 1955, while also setting a can of rags on fire. i just think people automatically dismiss stereotypes, when they use them every day, they just don't know it.


"eat the flesh,
spit out the seeds.." -j.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

i hate people who work at the zoo because i am envious..