here's where i should again be apologizing for my absence [or perhaps not, up to you really..], but i thought of a way out of seeming negligent and some sort of student [i'll explain 'student' in a bit]. you see, this is what it would be like were you to be a very loose acquaintance of mine. i'm quiet by nature, and unless i'm approached or we know each other, you probably won't hear much from me. so pretend it is a documentary of such an event, and i think you'll soon realize [were you not painfully aware already, and i realize you must be], that these sort of gaps from me are good things.

the 'student' bit above, is what i seem to've turned into this semester. not because my nose is in a book every waking hour, no, i seriously doubt that to ever be the case. but when it isn't, and when i'm not in class, i'm either asleep or wishing i was. and i don't sleep much. i like my classes well enough but it is a horrible cycle of waiting for the weekend to come, only to not do much and not get any sleep. [and my sleeping, it is in apparent increments. something like 30min, 2hr, 4hr, 12hr. try to wake me anytime between those, well, good luck..]

being freshly out of the shower [pun, i realize, sorry] i found i'm not part of the target demographic for the conditioner [cream rinse?] i use. i was bored and so found part of the directions are to comb through hair, starting at the ends and working up. i know what they mean, luckily i don't need help with it, but it just made one of my reasons for getting it [it smelled like a girl] all the stronger.

i find it irritating to see every other news story about seven dead americans. now i won't disrespect them, as it is the government and press doing all the talking, and their commanders that put them there [though they did choose to join the military..]. but since that many civilians are dying daily in and around israel and the palestinian area, thousands are dying daily from starvation and diseases that we, the rich bastards we are, could stop, and the fact that they are soldiers, that is their job [to shoot and possibly die], i've rather uneasy feelings getting upset. not to mention i've just gone over the two world wars in two classes and the numbers there numb me every time i see them. what i think i meant to say is, everyone is not a hero. everyone doesn't need to be. please stop pretending they are.

and i think i may be the last person alive to actually see this, and i don't know what i was thinking. i've been saying this a lot about films lately, but it was one of the best one's i've seen. just is. i saw it twice this weekend actually, alone. [this is where cute girls should think 'aww' and come see it with me?] driving home after the first viewing, the water from the sprinkler's had frozen, just as i thought it might, and i slid along it in my car. after the second time i was walking to my car and i saw a penny on the ground, head side up. supposedly good-luck of course, i left it there. not because i don't believe in luck, but because i need to know what is going to happen without it. [you know?]

also i finally have npr in my car again, but my schedule doesn't align as lovingly with all things considered or marketplace as it has in recent semesters. oh well.

also also, i've had two inappropriate dreams in two nights. i apologize, but you don't know them..


"the heater was shaking
cause the city was cold.." -h.


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

..and i held your arm as you hit the strings..