quick catch up, 'she' decided it would be best for her if we didn't physically spend time together. she said she still wants to be friends. and i honestly hope we can be, and perhaps give a relationship a shot in the future, i.e. years. but i'm not holding my breath. anyway, i took this really hard, and actually talked to people this time because i couldn't handle it. i'm not sure how i handled the end of my much longer relationship a little over two years ago, but i did, and i thought i could do it again by myself. i was wrong. but i'm doing better. enough of that. if you must have anymore details, feel free.

while i haven't written a real entry in over a month, i haven't completely forgotten this outlet of mine, and have written myself notes of things to mention. i can't read some of them and others i've forgotten what my one-word description means, but i remember most of them. and just so you've had fair warning, they aren't all that interesting, and they probably will have no connection to much of anything, let alone each other.

-somewhat recently i bookmarked all the diaryland diaries i read regularly. while it saves me time, and reduces strain on my less than stellar memory, it also has made trips to members.diaryland.com obsolete. this keeps me from reading many diaries i don't like, and keeps my list of daily reads to a managable load, but also cuts off most new additions to the list. such is life.

-there is a commercial for differin gel, which i have since found out is a prescription acne medicine. when i first heard (wasn't paying much attention, so didn't see) the commercial on tv, i just thought it was another one of those ones for that newer genital herpes medicine. after extolling the fast action and mondo results of the product, the young lady on the commercial said something like (and i'm not sure of this name, but it fits), "i'm going to tell my friends how well differin works, but dianne will have to find out on her own." and i thought it was harsh and funny for a genital herpes sufferer to wish such a thing on a fellow infectee. but i've since realized it was a teenager talking about an acne medicine, and she probably just wanted all the guys (which ironically enough gives her that many more chances for those genital herpes, as well as another commercial spot). poor dianne.

-i dyed my hair. the friday after the fourth of july, which was two days before the sunday after the fourth, which was the sunday i heard from 'her' (see above). but it's permanent dye, so it's not like it's fading (read: you can't fade this). it was supposed to be 'darkest mahogany brown'. it's actually closer to a really really really dark brown with really really dark burgandy-purple shine when the light hits it. it actually looks more realistic than i've made it to sound, but what do you care. anyway, in the past few months i've shaved my head (so my hair is still short, about an inch or so), got glasses, and dyed my hair. so the fact that many people didn't recognize me was not only somewhat expected, but i enjoyed that fact as well. ah, so anti-social. well, not really, but close enough.

-completely tired of products that are NEW!, IMPROVED!, or have MORE! of something. i think there should be a strict truth in advertising law put into place. you could still be creative. for example: "sure we are the lowest quality paper plate on the market, but you'll not have one collapse on you for less money." if that's just a pet peeve of mine, so be it. but i'm confident there are others that share my disdain for chips that remind me of tammy faye baker. that is of course if tammy's foundation were made of nacho cheese or cool ranch. and what exactly is cool ranch? does it have menthol in it? if you know the skinny, do share.

-ok, so these two might connect, i was roaming the aisles of the grocery section of a certain HUGE store one night recently, and while in the cracker/cookie aisle i came upon 'bite-size cheez-its'(tm). now i happen to think they are a rather tasty cracker (mind you i didn't buy any), and i have nothing wrong with them in general. but the mere fact that they make a smaller cracker that is called bite-size bothers me. the 'full-size' (if you will allow me to be so bold as to call them that) cheez-its(tm) are perhaps 1.5 inches square. if you can't fit that in your mouth, join a freakshow, so snack food companies will stop pandering to your demographic, which by the way must be a larger piece of the population than 'freak' would denote, what with bite-size everything on the shelves. so just don't breed.

-don't like: stupid asshole cop that told me to go home when i was driving around at 2a last year. i was 19. i had every right to be out if i so pleased. and i had been sitting in a park and writing. such a horrible citizen i am, what was i thinking?

-do like: nice considerate cop that stopped to ask if everything was alright when i had stopped on the side of the road at around 2a to deal with one of my speakers that had shifted.

-finally rented 'run lola run' ['lola rennt' is the real german title], and enjoyed it thoroughly. plan on getting the dvd and soundtrack. and might i say, that Franka Potente (lola), Whew. i like to think i appreciate beauty when i see it. and i saw some. the good hair color helped. and the two scenes lit in red, if you've seen it you should know, made her look even better. yep.

-had fast food again a few nights ago. like at 2a (apparently everything happens then, i think it's just a good bland time to estimate things happening. work with me). again, very unsatisfying. however, on the way back, a young lady (somewhat attractive i think, not sure, didn't get a good look, and it doesn't really matter, i just threw it in,) decided to race me. i don't normally exceed the speed limit by more than 5mph (perhaps 10 on the interstate), but we were flying down a normal four-lane city street. it was fun, exhilerating, and somewhat sexy. i'd do it again.

-for those of you who don't have discovery health channel, or just don't know of the show, there is a show on there that follows children at the birmingham children's hospital in birmingham, england. and it's on late sometimes, and i'm up late always, so i've seen it maybe ten times. and one time while watching it and a certain child, something struck me. i don't know if i could feel comfortable bringing a child into this world. i mean it's not a current thought or even near future, but at some point i have to think it's going to be a strong possibility (and yes it could happen now, theoretically, me being a non-sterile person, but that's besides the point). and what i mean is, besides the fact that this world is quite polluted, and the morals/views of the world aren't that great, something else hit me. there is enough chance for birth defects as is, but what with all my retarded little quirks and recessive genes, i'm sure to pass many along. and i'd hate to have a kid who had to suffer because of my half of their make-up. not the best thoughts to be having, but then that's me. (yet another quirk i'd rather not pass on).

-i was making cookies this weekend, cause my brother was visiting, and bringing his girlfriend (very likely to become fianc�e, and then wife), and so i thought she would like some. she did, a lot. in fact i ended up making 125 cookies this weekend, in three different batches, and no, she didn't eat them all. sheesh. allow me yet another tangent for a second, because at this point one more tangent isn't going to matter all that much. i can cook. i'm not emeril, nor am i even all that great, but i can cook well enough. and a few things rather well, at least to my taste buds. and yet i get ribbed for it whenever it is brought up. mind you it's not often a topic of conversation, but on the rare occasion someone mentions the fact i made blueberry muffins or something, i'm martha stewart. and it's usually females who are first to chime in. i would think it would be a good quality in a guy, but i'm biased. anyway, i was making cookies and rocking out to erin mckeown's cd ('monday morning cold') that reminds me of winter, and was just a happy person. do yourself a favor. buy her cds. now. ooh, just now, while getting the address for that link, i found out she just released a new album. more good music for me to buy. dammit, and hallelujah, all in one.

-so i was in the library a few weeks ago, as i have been often as of late, and a huge rainstorm happened out of nowhere. it ended up soaking my dash/seat because i left my window open about 4mm, and it rained sideways. no joke, completely horizontal for at least a while, because it was wet in there. but before i got less than happy about that, i was in the library reading. and the power went out. no biggie, i was near the windows watching the rain and it was only like 5.30p so there was still light coming in. anyway, it went out again a bit later when there was less light, and i just sat there. looking down a nearby empty aisle of books. and all that i could think about was how much i wanted to be in that aisle with a lovely female companion when the power went out. to just hold her and sneak a passionate kiss between dark library bookshelves seemed like heaven to me. still does.

-gotta give a 'shout out' to this chick for yelling at me for not updating. this long one is for you, M. boring as it may be.. it's long, and it is an update. hope that's enough. i'm hoping to get somewhat closer to daily or every other day.

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