and i get what my portion of responsibility was, and i fully admit my shortcomings. it does not take away from her end, but the perspective shifts. i don't want to admit that as it seems to me as though i am dismissing fault or that i find such a reaction perfectly reasonable, and i feel the opposite of those things.
but it has helped me to feel less animosity or anger or revulsion for a person towards whom i'd rather not have those feelings. granted, i will never see her again, and perhaps i will think of her even less often than i do now, which isn't all that often. it is still nice to finally be able to check that box and throw away that list that i did not know existed.
i got your back now, you'd better have mine