i'm not sure what to make of it though. it, of course, being the idea of something just this side of nothing. (yet?) it is a very interesting thing to let loose inside my head, as it tends to wander around.
i am not sure what to think about it, or if i even should be thinking about it at this point. but it is rather difficult to stop, and i would prefer not to anyway.
it is a difficult spot between warning others to avoid me and desiring that contact. that interaction. do you really want to agree to sell me the car? i might back out. do you really want to plan an outing? i might not show. do you really want to kiss me? you might regret it. everything is a fine line between not invading others' agency and trying to save them the grief.
funny that i have avoided the real occupier of my thoughts.. mostly.
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but i cant think of right words to say