i've been open to everything before. vulnerable to a kind word or an attack. sensitive to things going on around me. i've also been closed off. ignoring any good or bad that happens. caring about nothing and no one and all that entails.

currently, i can't feel the good stuff. just the void. and every corrosive thing possible is finding its way in. and they are all eating at me. and i'm allowing myself to be miserable, i'm just unsure how to flip this around.

i should be a better person. not better than you or the people who flip the bird in traffic. just better than i am.

i used to believe that one could be open or closed [or in between], but not both at the same time. apparently i can be.

i'm the opposite of who i want to be.

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