this will be scattered.

is thai the trendy ethnicity for anglos at the moment? it seems the new pink. i'm slow, especially on trends, so i have no idea whether this is one or not. but it seems like thai food and culture and knick-knacks and knock-offs are everywhere. i don't really care [if it is a trend i mean], as i quite enjoy thai cuisine and fully intend to continue to ingest it when i can. i'm just curious.

i tried to write this one time before, but all was lost in a freeze. it seems like people are usually accepting of one half of the body spectrum. either you accept bones and up to a healthy level. or you accept the healthy level to obese. and oddly enough people seem to lean towards the side they feel they are on, whether that's true or not. it is almost laughable how accepting one can be of near death on one side, and how cruel they can be for the exact other side. i don't understand why it is so hard to be tolerant [this includes me by a long shot]. i'm not asking me or anyone else to find every single person sensually attractive.. just try and understand and love, or tolerate at least. my civility is lacking, and i'll never be able to apologize enough..

someone said something about hoping to make six new best friends. is it just me, or is that spreading the best a bit thinly? just me i guess.

what ever happened to the escape key? there is one on the computer i'm typing on currently, and one on the commodore 128 that is six inches to my right. and the number of their abilities is the same. nil. back in the day before compatible ibm-based pc's, escape key functions were as random as the brand that made it. i don't know what the flick it did on a tandy, nor a xerox.

then, in the days of four food groups [how is dairy one fourth of food? really?] and elementary keyboard classes that you took, not to learn how to type because you weren't exactly pumping out essays in second grade but, because no one knew what a computer was. or few outside the nerds of course. the escape key did everything short of shut down the lunchroom. oregon trail was no match, that's for d-monkey sure.

long about middle school [my timeline of course] it began to lose ability to do much and had to ally itself with good old control, you know it as ctrl perhaps. then alt+tab took over. ctrl+alt+del was still in the periphery used only in dire situations. then the windows key came on the scene in 95 and dared you to lock your computer to a point that it could not get you out of. now it is merely a placeholder near the space bar. i'm not sure if keyboard manufacturers see this as their only viable means of adding more keys for us to buy, or if programs are becoming resistant to them a l penicillin.

i think addiction, in any form, any, [and it seems most are forms are not seen as such] are exactly like a campfire in the forest of everything important to you. it requires constant attention. it must be fed regularly else it choke and sputter or attempt to lash out to fulfill itself. it must be kept clean of its own waste as it likes to burn, and in doing so tries to eliminate its source and thereby itself. sometimes it has to be changed completely, as it burns a spot out of fuel and usefulness completely. left to its own devices it devours everything spreading, spiraling, spiderwebbing out from itself until it either starts burning other forests or it destroys itself. some campfires are cleaner than others, some almost pleasant. often only observers see the effort required to keep it happy. i think that fits better than anything i can think of.


and to autumn and all it means:

"and then a whole lot of time went by.." -ani


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number 9.. .   .? andy andy andy, get your adverbs here

moon song