commercial says, "individuality is creativity, not being just like everyone else.." and within a literal five-mississippi count, also, "fashions change like that [snapping], you've got to keep up.." i will leave that one up to you, as i sit here and blink, expressionless.

i just realised that i should probably quickly mention that "five-mississipi" refers to a way of counting seconds, for those not in the states and not familiar with such vernacular. equivalent to saying one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand.. and the like.

handshaking, i've found, goes awry more often than not. sweaty hands, calloused sandpaper hands, and dirty hands are just the start. some people have a single form, and stick to it no matter the person or circumstance. you know the people, either treating your hand like a pair of vice grips or an overripe tomato regardless of your side of the manual conversation. and then there is the somewhat reverse, having to judge mid-shake the grip, pressure, longevity, and whether to actually shake or not.

usually jocks or oblivious people grab your hand and try to press it into the shape of a cob [a l� corn] while you attempt to counteract while not making it seem like a contest because your now tube shape hand can't really return the favor if you were trying to. on the other hand, [wow that's unintentionally bad] there's the pseudohand shake. where you extend your hand and move it in the appropriate shape and motion but must do so in such a delicate manner that it's as if you're a mime. people who require such shakes scare me. i'm afraid of breaking them.

this one was new to me, or new to my observation. there seems to be one of two [or both] ideas at work. either i never learned how to do this properly, so instead of not continuing to do this awkwardly, um, i will.. continue to.. do this.. awkwardly.. shutup. or, i've no time for you, here is something to do with my hand. extend yours and see you later. this is the setup. i thrust forth my arm, hand extended, and instead of getting the normal grip of: thumb wrapping around the palm-side of the finger knuckle, what i got was thumb wrapping around finger-side of the knuckle. i admit that even on my monkey-sized hands it is a difference of only two inches, but it is completely unacceptable. contorting my fingers and showing no mutual respect. at least his palm wasn't sweaty.

i may have said this before, but the only thing worse than a cold toilet seat, is a warm one. i cannot know that enough.

a certain day is about a day away now. i don't plan on watching. something about editing and background music that reeks of ratings and hyperbole.

-

"but you and i
we've been through that,
and this is not our fate.
so let us stop talking falsely now,
the hour's getting late.." -j.h.