a friend [hey man, let me know if you don't want the bad press..] of mine and myself, we have this idea. it's admittedly not necessarily the most original, as there have probably been at least a few dozen or hundred or some other number of blokes around the world who've come to a similar thought. see, the thing is, he and i, me and he, we see these couples together and, to be dead honest, at least ninety percent of the time this is true. the female half of the pair would be better off dating a nice pair of shoes, because at least they would be useful. and while i'll not force my thoughts upon my friend, i'll admit some of this analysis goes on from first glance, i.e. shallow physical appearance. i will grant you that much. feel validated. but there is a lot that can be assessed from across a room or restaurant or store aisle by how people walk, talk, dress, eat, conduct themselves. i know it is a lame school of thought to have graduated from, but it's true. i'm not even saying anything regarding stereotypes, those are bunk when dissecting an individual [or in this case two] from a distance. like if you see a girl carrying five large bags of whatever, and the guy is on his mobile, i'm sorry, he's a prick. yeah, he might have a call about receiving the nobel prize for literature, but the four other guys in the same day didn't. and that's one very poor example.anyway, our idea is to walk up to a couple such as this, straight face, no emotion, look at him, and then turn to her and say, what are you thinking? [i.e. you can do much better.] bold, and funny. except, what am i thinking? were i to walk up to one of these mismatched pairs and say that, and were the world to be in proper order, one or the other or both would ask me what i was thinking, and turn away laughing. i've no doubt the only pleasure she might get out of such a relationship is purely physical, as he couldn't stimulate her mind if he had a script. but at least she's getting something out of it. and who's to say that's not enough for now? who am i to think, even in jest, that i should/could be the person to say that. whoever they are, they probably shared a good laugh with their post-coital cigarette. meanwhile i'm sitting in a loud chair in front of a computer listening to ani and whining about fuck-offs and their fuck-offy ways and girls who fall prey to them, knowingly or otherwise, at a quarter to four saturday morning.
i hate it when the world makes sense.
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"who's gonna give a shit?.." -ani
